We all carry moments we wish we could rewrite. A choice we regret. A word we shouldn’t have said. A path we took when another would have been wiser. And so often, the sentence that echoes in our heads is: “I should have known better.”

But shame is a heavy companion. It doesn’t protect us, it paralyzes us. It doesn’t help us grow, it keeps us stuck. In truth, self-shame is a form of self-sabotage — a way of punishing ourselves long after the lesson has already been learned.

What if we replaced “I should have known” with “Now I know better”?

The shift is small, but the meaning is everything. The first locks us in the past, holding us hostage to what cannot be changed. The second opens the door to growth. It says: I made a mistake, but it taught me something. I didn’t know then, but I know now. And because of that, I can move forward stronger, wiser, freer.

I speak from my own life when I say this. Like every human being, I have made, I make, and I will make many mistakes. Sometimes they are against myself, sometimes against my family, and sometimes against my friends. What matters is not that mistakes happen — because they always will — but what I do with them. My way is simple: I say sorry, I explain why I did what I did, and then I forgive myself and move on. That practice helps me to be better, to learn the lesson, and to continue on my own path.

We often talk about forgiveness in terms of others. And here I want to be honest: I don’t believe we always have to forgive everyone. Some wounds run too deep. Some wrongs cannot, and maybe should not, be smoothed over. Forgiving others is a personal decision, and no one should be pressured into it.

But forgiving yourself? That’s different. That’s not a choice — it’s a necessity.

Forgiving yourself is not about pretending you never failed. It’s about refusing to become your own jailer. It’s about saying: Yes, I stumbled. But I am still worthy of kindness. I am still allowed to grow.

I often picture shame as a backpack filled with heavy stones. Every mistake we replay, every regret we whisper to ourselves, adds another stone. We walk bent over, exhausted, believing that carrying this weight is somehow noble. But when we forgive ourselves, it’s like setting that backpack down by the side of the road. Suddenly, we can walk lighter, freer, able to see the path ahead instead of staring at the ground beneath our feet.

Think of it this way: if a friend came to you full of regret, would you endlessly punish them? Or would you tell them, gently, “It’s okay. Learn from it. Move on”? Then why should you treat yourself with less compassion than you’d offer someone you love?

Self-forgiveness does not mean erasing consequences or forgetting the past. It means choosing growth over shame. It means letting your mistakes teach you instead of define you. It means turning pain into wisdom and regret into compassion.

So here’s an invitation: bring to mind one moment you still shame yourself for. Hold it softly. Don’t cover it up, don’t push it away. Instead, whisper: That was then. Now I know better.

Because you deserve your own forgiveness. Not because you were perfect, but because you are still learning, still growing, and still worthy.

And if you practice this often enough, you’ll notice something beautiful: the same compassion you give yourself will start to flow toward others, too. Not always, not in every situation — but sometimes. And that’s how forgiveness, whether for others or for yourself, becomes not just an act of letting go, but a way of moving forward with strength and grace.

GK

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Published by georgi.kisyov

19 thoughts on “Forgive Yourself”

    1. That’s so true — saying sorry can soften hearts and open space for understanding. Even when it’s not about guilt, it’s about peace. Sometimes those two simple words help us close a chapter gently and move forward lighter — both with others and with ourselves. 🌿
      GK

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  8. We all stumble, but God’s grace reminds us that we’re never beyond redemption. Forgiving ourselves lets His light in so we can grow stronger and walk freer. 🙏

    Great Post and Message …

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    1. Thank you so much for your beautiful words 🙏 You’re absolutely right — grace has a way of finding us even when we feel undeserving. Forgiving ourselves is often how we open the door to that light and begin to walk with peace again. 🌟
      Have a great rest of the day.
      GK

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  9. This lands with the kind of clarity that only comes from someone who has wrestled with real regret and chosen to rise anyway. I can relate to that. I’ve discovered a few of my own in my journey through life. What stood out to me most though is how you shift the spotlight from punishment to growth—how you remind us that shame is not a teacher, but a thief. Your words feel like a hand reaching back for someone who’s still stuck in yesterday, offering a way out that isn’t harsh or demanding, but kind and steady. It brought to mind that beautiful promise, “For though a righteous man falleth seven times, yet shall he rise again” (Proverbs 24:16). You capture that rising so well—not as perfection, but as a practiced courage. Thank you for writing in a way that lets people breathe again, that makes it feel possible to set down the stones we’ve carried too long.

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    1. Your words truly touched me. Thank you for reading with such an open heart and for seeing the message so clearly. You said it perfectly — shame is not a teacher, but a thief. That verse from Proverbs has always felt like a quiet reminder that falling isn’t failure, it’s part of becoming. I’m so grateful that this reflection reached you in that gentle way — the way that helps us all breathe a little easier and rise again. 🙏✨
      GK

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