Give someone you love an extra hug today.

There doesn’t need to be a reason.

It doesn’t have to be a birthday, an anniversary, a celebration, or a difficult day. You don’t have to wait until someone is leaving for a long trip or until you haven’t seen them for months.

Just hug them because they are there.

And when you normally would let go, stay for another second.

Maybe even hug them again.

We spend so much of our lives waiting for the moments we think will matter. We count down to birthdays. We plan holidays months in advance. We save money for vacations. We take photographs at weddings, graduations, Christmas dinners, and other special occasions.

We know those moments are important, so we make an effort to remember them.

But memory is strange.

It doesn’t always keep the things we expect it to keep.

Sometimes the big occasions slowly become a collection of photographs and a few stories we tell. Meanwhile, a completely ordinary moment stays with us for decades.

The sound of someone laughing in the kitchen.

Sitting beside your father while he watches television.

Your mother calling you to the table.

Your child falling asleep against your shoulder.

Your partner reaching for your hand while you are walking somewhere you have walked a hundred times before.

Or a hug.

Nothing happened before it. Nothing happened after it.

It was simply a hug.

And somehow, years later, it means everything.

We Think There Will Always Be Another One

Perhaps one reason we hurry through ordinary moments is because they feel unlimited.

When we live with someone, we assume we will see them tomorrow morning. When we say goodbye to a friend, we expect another meeting. When our children hug us, we don’t stop to count how many times it has happened before.

And that is probably a good thing.

We cannot live every ordinary moment as though it might be the last. That would make life unbearably heavy.

But there is a difference between being afraid that something will end and remembering to appreciate it while it is here.

We don’t need fear to make us more present.

We just need attention.

That is what the extra hug can be.

A tiny moment of attention.

A way of saying without words:

I know you are here. I know this moment is ordinary. And I still don’t want to rush through it.

One More Second

Most hugs are part of our routines.

Someone comes home. We hug.

Someone leaves. We hug.

A child goes to school. A partner goes to work. Friends meet for dinner. Family members say goodbye after a visit.

We do it almost automatically.

There is nothing wrong with that. In fact, there is something beautiful about affection becoming such a natural part of life that we don’t even have to think about it.

But sometimes we can stay for one more second.

That’s all.

One more second before returning to dinner.

One more second before checking the phone.

One more second before putting on the coat and walking out the door.

One more second before life continues asking things from us.

The world can wait for a moment.

The dishes will still be there.

The message can remain unanswered for another few seconds.

The bus may be coming, dinner may need cooking, and there may be twenty things on today’s list.

But this person is here now.

Ordinary Doesn’t Mean Unimportant

I think we often confuse ordinary with unimportant.

They are not the same.

Some of the most important parts of our lives happen so regularly that we stop noticing them.

A familiar voice saying good morning.

Someone asking how our day went.

A child shouting from another room.

Two people sharing the same sofa without speaking.

A kiss before bed.

A hug at the front door.

These moments don’t announce themselves. They don’t tell us, Remember this.

There is no music playing in the background. Nobody takes a photograph. We don’t write the date down.

We simply live them.

And perhaps that is why they become so precious later.

They were real.

They were our life before we knew we would miss that particular version of it.

Give the Extra Hug

So today, give someone an extra hug.

Hug your child once more before they disappear into their room.

Hold your partner a little longer when they come home.

Hug your parents if you are lucky enough to have them close.

Hug a friend who matters to you.

You don’t need to explain it.

And if they ask, ā€œWhat was that for?ā€

You can simply say, ā€œNothing.ā€

Because sometimes nothing is the best reason.

You are not celebrating an occasion.

You are celebrating a presence.

We spend so much time trying to create memories that we sometimes forget memories are already being created around us.

Today will probably not become one of the important dates written in your family history.

It may simply be another Thursday.

Years from now, you may not remember what you did today. You may forget what you ate, what you watched, what annoyed you, and what seemed so urgent.

But somewhere inside you, the warmth of the people you loved will remain.

Their voices.

Their laughter.

Their hands.

Their hugs.

So don’t wait for a special occasion to hold someone a little closer.

Give the extra hug.

Stay for one more second.

Because sometimes the ordinary little moment we barely notice today becomes the memory we hold closest tomorrow.

GK

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Published by georgi.kisyov

43 thoughts on “Extra Hug”

  1. I think thereā€™s something especially true in the line about celebrating a presence. We tend to measure love by the big things we do for one another, but so much of it is really lived in those tiny, almost forgettable moments of attention. Scripture says, ā€œBoast not thyself of to morrow; for thou knowest not what a day may bring forthā€ (Proverbs 27:1). Not as a reason to live fearfully, but as a reason to love generously while today is still ours. And really, an extra hug seems like a pretty wonderful use of a few seconds.

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    1. I really love the way you put thisā€”ā€œnot as a reason to live fearfully, but as a reason to love generously.ā€ That captures the spirit of the post beautifully. We donā€™t need to fear tomorrow to appreciate today; we simply need to notice the people who are here with us now. And yes, an extra hug is a wonderful way to spend a few seconds.
      GK

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  5. You touched on something absolutely vital to me. Hugs. Celebrating a presence. That’s it, isnt it? Besides the physical dopamine serotonin etc. It seems to me there’s more than a hit of scientific what’s its.

    To me a hug is special… offered with a deep love, respect, a connection…a connection that is inexplicable…its valuing the person the connection the affection, the joy you experiences with and around that someone. Its that extra special undefined something you feel when it is given so freely without expectation that reaches parts of your physical being, your spiritual bring, the part that says your ok, I enjoy you, your company, your presence. I value you. It is all the more precious when its a spontaneous moment because it comes straight from the heart. No equivocation, its real its honest, its special.

    There is so much I woukd add but this wouk become a book lol. Suffice it to say ( even with thise not given to hugs) give one anyway. They’ll value it. Treasure it abd remember it eith great fondness. I know i do. Tyvm fir this. BIG šŸ«‚ to a man with real depth, eith character, who sees contemplates understands the deeper dynamics of life love relationships and offers that gentle perspective to everyone with open arms and a hug or two. Greatfully accepted šŸ«‚

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    1. Thank you so much for taking the time to share all of this. I love the way you described a hug as valuing someoneā€™s presenceā€”that is exactly what I was trying to express. Beyond anything science can explain, there is something deeply human about holding another person and quietly saying, without words, ā€œYou matter to me, and Iā€™m glad you are here.ā€ And yes, the spontaneous hugs may be the most beautiful because nothing is expected or plannedā€”they simply come from the heart. Thank you also for your incredibly kind words about me and my writing; they truly mean a lot. Your BIG hug is gratefully received, and Iā€™m sending an equally big one right back!
      GK

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    1. Thank you so much. Itā€™s amazing how the smallest moments can quietly become some of our greatest treasures. The people we love are here now, and that alone is a beautiful reason to hold them a little closer.
      GK

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    1. Thank you so much. Iā€™m glad these words gave you something you want to carry forward, not only today. And yes, on a day filled with remembrance, perhaps holding the people we love a little closer carries even deeper meaning.
      GK

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  10. Holding on for just ‘one more second’ is such a simple yet powerful practice, Georgi. We really do get so caught up in the rush of daily routines that we forget to pause and cherish the present. Your gentle reminder to celebrate presence rather than waiting for an occasion is deeply moving! šŸ«‚āœØ

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    1. Thank you so much! I think that ā€œone more secondā€ can be such a small way of reminding ourselves to be fully present with the people we love. We donā€™t always need a special occasionā€”sometimes their presence is the occasion.
      GK

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      1. “Sometimes their presence is the occasion”ā€”that is such a beautiful and profound way to put it, Georgi! šŸŒæ It really is those quiet, intentional extra seconds that turn everyday moments into meaningful memories. Thank you so much for sharing such a wonderful perspective!

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    1. I love your word ā€œextravagantly.ā€ We really shouldnā€™t be too careful with love, kind words, or affection when they cost us nothing to give. The time to let people know how much they mean to us is always now.
      GK

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  17. The heart of this piece reminds me of Fred Rogersā€™s – from Mr. Rogersā€™s Neighborhood. He was about the kindest man imaginable and made an entire generation of kids fall in love with quiet routines. We depended on him changing his shoes and hanging up his sweater and kindness was at the root of his television show.

    ā€œWe donā€™t need fear to make us more present.
    We just need attention.ā€ These are my favorite two lines. My life was changed by a complete stranger who held a door open at a restaurant for me when I was an early teen because it meant there were still kind men in the world who saw me. The smile of a homeless man showed me that joy didnā€™t depend on a single thing.

    And hugsā€¦ well, Iā€™m from the South. I believe in hugs as hello. šŸ™‚

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    1. I love everything about this reflection. And Iā€™m especially glad those two lines stayed with you, because that really is the heart of it for meā€”we donā€™t have to be afraid of losing something in order to pay attention to how precious it is today. Your stories about the stranger holding the door and the homeless manā€™s smile are perfect examples of how seemingly tiny moments can stay with us for a lifetime. We often have no idea when a simple kindness will become part of someone elseā€™s story. And I smiled at your last lineā€”ā€œhugs as helloā€ sounds like a pretty wonderful philosophy to me.
      GK

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